My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Randomize
