Kareoke will never be a sober sport
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
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