Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
