I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize