and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
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