I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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