4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
I have post one night stand depression
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
