It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
If I had your ass I would rule the world
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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