ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
