i already hear my dad disowning me
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
