So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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