Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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