we're blogging at a bar
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Randomize
