clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
