We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize