Well douche your snatch and let's go!
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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