i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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