Those balls look pretty dangerous.
Ketchup is God's man juice
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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