I got chris browned last night
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Randomize
