last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
