I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
Randomize
