If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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