But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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