The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
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