How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
