u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
