Quick, to the slutcave!
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Randomize