Got a toothbrush?
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Randomize
