Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
