I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
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