just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
