I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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