Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize