and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
