hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
Randomize
