I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
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