She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
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