hell yes lets make some ravioli
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
