Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
