I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
So vagazzling was a success
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
