Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
