I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Randomize
