it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
