My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
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