I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
They have beer where we have blood.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Randomize
