it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Randomize
