Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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