Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
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