and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
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