We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
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