What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize
