all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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