STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize
