Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
We don't watch enough power rangers
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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