i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
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