a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
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