I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Randomize
