My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
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