I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
