You can't special order awesome
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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