i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
