I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
