just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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