help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
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