Someone shit on the floor
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Randomize
