he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
