i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
I see more hoeing in ur future
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