We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
