U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Randomize