Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
