I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
Randomize
