oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
Say something about gay babies.
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize
