The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Randomize
