Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
Randomize
