I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
