dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize