I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
