are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Randomize
