How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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